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What universe am I living in? I’ve been saying for years that the games industry has completely malformed into an unspeakable silicon creation that vomits sequels and farts casual games. Although, what I should really be thinking is: What happened to rappers? I’m not trying to sound like an old git and if I’m honest, I eschew rap music, but back in my day, rappers used to promote weapons, drugs, whores and more whores, not bloody videogames. If a serious rapper endorsed a game in the 90’s, they’d be gun down in some filthy alleyway O.G style ya dig? What am I saying? You don’t dig, you don’t dig at all.
It’s absolutely incredible that Activision has reached the stage where it’s more akin to a music producer than a game’s publisher. White rhymer Eminem was the first to lay down some ‘fresh beats’ in the name of selling pixelated war. I remember watching his music video hunched over in hysterical tears – and slight sympathy – as this lyrical wordsmith who has spent his entire career erecting this gangster persona – when he’s not rapping about his kid or whinging about his mother – completely obliterated by this game. Fact: It may come as a shock, but playing videogames do not make you cool, hip, ‘with-it’, trendy or fashionable. Videogames, turn you into fucking mutant.
Snoop Dogg – or ‘Big Snoop D-O-double G’ – teamed up with Activision to provide his drowsy voice for a new Call of Duty: Ghosts DLC pack. So: if you ever desired to hear Snoop Dogg ‘rap’ about care-packages and ‘your homies’, you’re in luck. Snoop also clarified that:
“It’s the coolest game in the hood; all my homies play this game.”
Sure Snoop, “in the hood”. He lives in Alamo Heights, which judging by various internet searches, seems like a pretty damn nice place to live. Unless, he meant he travels to his ‘homies’ house in the hood – which I believe to be a low income area, but I’m no expert on hood culture – to play Call of Duty, which is a dick move if you ask me. He’s a famous rapper; he’s probably got a fuck-off entertainment system set up at home, why go to your ‘homies’ tinny studio apartment to play? What a wanker.
What was hilarious about the DLC trailer was how Chrissy Arya from Infinity Ward briefly paused before saying “Snoop” in her sound-bite. Although a tad awkward, I’m positive she made the right decision. There’s no way in hell a bleached-skinned well-spoken woman could have pulled off saying Snoop Dogg or Big Snoop D-O-double G without sounding like your mum at a school disco.
The fact will forever remain that videogames are designed to immerse gamers in artificial realities to partake in their hidden fantasies; and perhaps that’s what draws rappers to Call of Duty. Rappers like to appear ‘ard as nails and from the streets, but actually going outside and defending your ‘turf’ is really scary. So: it’s much safer to sit on your arse ‘pew pewing’ at online enemies who can’t physically harm you. Ironically, as games like Call of Duty have become ‘cool’, the act of playing them for several hours a day isn’t seen as a sad or pathetic use of your time. Whereas, enjoying a lengthy Final Fantasy session would get you one hell of a pasting.
The rappers have joined the gaming community, which they’d probably mock in a heartbeat – and they know beats.