Game of Thrones: The inequality of Westeros willy

Last week, Daenerys Targaryen, last of the Targaryen dynasty and all round dragon botherer, took to the Late Late Show to promote her role in the new series of Game of Thrones.

As with seemingly all discussions that surround the show, host James Corden didn’t waste any time bringing up the topic of rampant sex and nudity, which is regularly witnessed throughout the series.

In response to this predictable line of questioning, Emilia Clarke (Khaleesi) claimed that the show suffered from an “inequality” of male and female nudity, leading Corden to jokingly propose the use of a #FreeTheP hashtag to help lobby for a greater proportion of phallic screen time.

Since the Late Late Show was aired, the #FreeTheP hashtag has trended around the USA – originally as part of Corden’s joke, but increasingly as a serious commentary on the inequality of nudity within the prime time show. As the last week has gone by, the original humour behind this message has been lost even further, with MyVoucherCodes commissioning a study into the show’s male/female nudity split. This found that despite showing over 60 breasts, the Game of Thrones directors had only found time for a mere two shots of Westeros willy.

In Game of Thrones’ entire 50 hour run time there is a grand total of sixteen minutes of nudity.

As the #FreeTheP hashtag has developed, what was once meant as a piece of light-hearted humour has now been stretched out into a supposedly serious discussion on representational gender politics in mainstream media. Confused Tumblr feminists have suddenly found themselves demanding gender equality through the medium of televised cock. Likewise, tedious clickbait liberals at the Guardian online are posting articles on the pressing need for more Targaryen todgers in fantasy fiction.

As this meaningless faux outrage has risen, a predictable crowd of angry teen meninists has bubbled to the internet surface, questioning the very notion that greater prime time pork sword is the answer to the feminist question.

As one such meninist observer astutely points out:

The problem with #FreeTheP is that penises and breasts are not anatomically analogous. After all, if I get my cock out on a beach permitting toplessness, I am likely to be arrested. There’s a reason for that.

Thank goodness we have the internet to stimulate such hard hitting debates.

On the one hand, this gentleman is entirely correct. Penises are not anatomically analogous with breasts. If anything, in a world of equality, full-frontal male nudity could only be used to balance out full frontal female nudity – something which the Guardian’s survey completely ignores. In fact, if you compare male and female full frontal nudity in Game of Thrones, the total is closer to 2/8 rather than 2/60.

Whatever the numbers, none of this really matters. It’s just outrage for the sake of outrage for the sake of clickbait and publicity. In actual fact Game of Thrones doesn’t even have that much nudity in it. In the entire 50 hour run time, there is a grand total of sixteen minutes of nudity. Anyone watching Game of Thrones exclusively for those sixteen minutes is either completely missing the brilliance of the show or simply lacks a high speed broadband connection.

Nobody cares about the nudity in Game of Thrones.

James Corden doesn’t care, he just wants to plug the Late Late Show. Emilia Clarke doesn’t care either, she’s just making a joke to promote the new series. The Guardian doesn’t care, as it’s just looking for online clickbait. And MyVoucherCodes certainly doesn’t care, using #FreeTheP as a way to newsjack off the back of tits, feminism and a popular TV show. Even the meninists and Tumblr feminists don’t really care. They think they do, but deep down they know that they’re just plugging their own agendas.

And you know who really, really doesn’t care?

Me. I don’t care.

I couldn’t give a shit.

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